Dick and Jason had an unset agreement with each other, being older and more experienced with past trauma.
Tim sure had a lot of emotional baggage, as did Stephanie, Duke, Cass, Barbara, and Damian, but for some reason, Dick and Jason would confide in each other instead of to their younger siblings. Maybe because Dick watched Jason’s development and processed his death, and even had to be emotionally present and mature to keep Bruce from going absolutely insane, and Jason because he was the only one close enough in age to Dick to let him talk about his incident with Catalina and Kory. Dick knows that everyone else in the family aside from Bruce and Alfred weren’t aware of his history before Barbara, and unfortunately to Jason’s displeasure, the entire family knew his debacle. It could’ve been left at “he died to the hands of joker and came back in the Lazarus Pit because of Ra’s Al Ghul, and returned home with Damian,” but Bruce HAD to confront him about what happened, and that caused him to spill everything that happened in Arkham. Jason still wasn’t comfortable talking to the others, so naturally he leaned on his older brother.
One night, pretty late actually, Jason had insomnia and was baking something to pass the time. Dick joined him and was only there for the finished product. He was sitting cross legged on the counter while Jason was mixing silently.
“Hey. How’s life?” Dick finally said.
“Mid at best. Roy’s good, Tim’s been sleeping. So mid.”
“Mm.”
“What about you?”
“Eh. Could be better. Lately though…I don’t know. TMI, but last night me and Barb tried again. It…didn’t go exactly the way we planned. I just freaked out on her and she had to call my therapist at 11 PM on a Thursday night while I hid under a blanket.” Jason was spreading the batter in a cake pan.
“Nothings TMI when you’re venting man. It’s okay.” Dick sighed.
“Why can’t I just be normal again…way back in my day-“
“Like fifty years ago.”
“Hey! I’m not that old.” Dick crossed his arms. Jason chuckled and shoved the pan into the oven.
“Yeah, says the guy who just referred to a decade ago as ‘your day.’” Jason chuckled one last time and washed his hands. “Continue.”
“You know how I was. I’d sleep around all the time ONLY because Bruce hated it.” He stifled a laugh. “Every morning he’d sip his coffee, stare at me, and just look disappointed. You remember.”
“Yeah.”
“Why can’t it go back to that? Why can’t I give Barb what she wants..? I feel so useless and-“ Jason gently patted his shoulder.
“Hey. You don’t choose to be like this, and not every relationship needs to be sexual. I’m sure she only wants you to feel safe and comfortable, so if you’re still not able to have sex because you just aren’t mentally okay yet, that’s perfectly fine.” Dick smiled weakly, but the corners drooped. Jason wrapped his arm around his shoulder after sitting next to him and pulling him down to his shoulder. “Barbara is lucky to have you.” Dick sighed softly.
“I was so stupid back then…why couldn’t I see that it wasn’t Kory or stop Cat from killing Blo-“
“Dick. We’ve been over this. You were only seventeen. Even sixteen at some point! You couldn’t have known.” He gently rubbed his shoulder.
“But then when I tried talking about it she just shut me down…she told me it hurt her so deeply and-“ he took a brief pause to breathe and calm down. “She told me men couldn’t get raped.” He hung his head. The taller gently rubbed his hair before sighing.
“Dick, you’re not with Kory anymore. You’re with Barbara and she completely understands. She went through something similar, so of course she knows exactly what you’re going through. It may not be the same situation, but it’s definitely something she won’t hold against you.” He paused for a moment to let Dick have some room to think. “You also have to understand Kory isn’t from earth. She’s only seen media that shows men nonconsensually go at women, never the other way around, so her views back then weren’t perfect.” Dick nodded.
“I’m not denying that and I’m not going to use that against her, ever. She already apologized a couple years back and she offered her support. But I just…can’t help but feel like I’m back in my suit on that roof and see that damn orange bitch-“ dick covered his face and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m totally making this about me-“
“I asked, and I’m listening. I’m here to help dick. I’m no canary, but I’m here. I’m here dick.” Dick stared at him before tears began to fall. Jason hugged him tightly.
Later that month on a mission, Nightwing and Red Hood were paired. Hood was watching the city below while Nightwing did cartwheels. Hood used his binoculars to spot a suspicious man holding a box in an alleyway. He gestured to Nightwing and they pursued on foot while staying out of view. Finally, the man turned, dropping the box of stolen car parts. He ran, and Nightwing began to chase him when he realized Hood was nowhere to be seen. He turned and saw him on the ground, panting. The parts were all over and the noise was metallic and displeasing. He was also bleeding quickly, which helped the situation no more. He radioed Spoiler and Robin to stop the guy and knelt down to help Red Hood up. He helped him begin a dumpster so they were out of view and removed his helmet.
“Hey buddy. Don’t worry, just breathe. You have a minor puncture. I’m going to help you, and you just breathe. Remember where you are, got it?” Jason nodded slowly as he breathed deeply. Nightwing removed his mask and got out his medical supplies. Dick offered his hand to Jason in support while he carefully removed the metal from his thigh. Jason squeezed his hand as he let out a yell. Dick then began stuffing the wound with gauze and wrapped it in a bandage. “Can you stand?” Jason was dizzy and disoriented from pain and ptsd. He just shook his head.
“Red Hood down. Heading back to the cave. Spoiler and Robin, can you make it on foot back?”
“Yes.” Spoiler responded. “Criminal is apprehended, we’ll be back in 13 minutes max.”
“He doesn’t have 13 minutes…” dick sighed. “I’ll take the car, you two walk or swing back.”
“Copy.” Robins voice responded. Dick helped Jason up and to the car.
“You doing okay bud?” He glanced in the rear view at the back seat where Jason was laying. He was driving as fast as possible to the cave. Jason nodded.
“Hurts…” he mumbled. His hand met his left cheek, making his gently sigh as he removed his gloves.
“You’re in the Batmobile. You’re not Robin. You’re red hood. And red hood, I’m going to need you to take deep breaths. You are in armor, not a suit. Deep breaths.” Dick said calmly and slowly. Japan took slowly breaths. “You’re hurt from a street chase. Street chase.”
“Street…chase…” he said afterwards. He was halting but was listening.
“You’re back with Bruce. Roy. Tim. Dick. Damian.” Jason repeated the names and seemed to calm down. When they got there, dick brought Jason to Alfred in the cave, where he laid him on the table.
“For f*cks sake…this really f*cking hurts…” dick let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Jason was back in the present, not mentally checked out or in his Arkham Asylum state. He helped Alfred remove his clothing from his leg and held him as Alfred cleaned the wound.
“You sure you’re okay Jay?”
“I’m fine.” He muttered. Dick stared at him for a second, not believing him, but saw his eyes back in focus. He sighed, then turned his attention to his wound. It was bruised and definitely semi infected. Bruce raced down when he heard Jason’s shouts. He was off duty, so he was immediately worried. Alfred finished dressing the wound and Bruce crossed his arms.
“How?”
“Box fell and metal flew at me.” Jason crossed his arms. Dick nodded to confirm his answer. Bruce sighed.
“Be careful Jay.” Then he went back upstairs. Jason stared at Dick.
“Sometimes…I wonder…if he heard me screaming for help.” Dick patted his back. Jason gripped the table tightly. “If he knew how many nights I bled out on the ground, hoping he’d save me…wishing he’d know where to find me and just arrest joker…” dick listened quietly. “And to find out he didn’t even bat an eye after two years…” his voice broke. “And now he rushes as soon as I’m in pain. I don’t get it!! Why does he care now?!”
“He’s always cared Jay…you couldn’t see how much pain it cause him to be unable to find you…he didn’t give up, he just…he was upset with himself for not being able to find you. And since I was starting to grow out of his shadow, he needed a new protege, so he enlisted time only because of that reason. Not because he wanted to replace you, but because he needed help that I couldn’t give. We all love you Jay.” He hugged him tightly and protectively. He returned the hug.
“Thanks dick..for everything.”
